Monday, July 21, 2008

Is it possible to feel incredibly blessed yet discouraged at the same time???

As I sat in the chemo unit of the Cancer Center this morning waiting for a thyrogen shot so I can have another scan the end of the week, I was feeling both blessed and discouraged.

First let me say I am so thankful there are caring clinics such as the Ferguson Cancer Center in Freeport, but I don't belong there, right?
Every time I walk in the center which thankfully isn't often, it always feels surreal to me. I'm too healthy to be there, darn it!
For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in November 2006.
The Dr. says if a person has to have cancer, this is the cancer to have. It's very treatable and virtually curable.

This week is the third scan week I've been through since the inital surgery. This scan (hopefully my last) should be just a follow-up to make sure nothing new has shown up in the last year.
The scan week consists of
Monday - thyrogen shot (so I don't have to stop taking my thyroid supplement and revert back into thyroid hell)
Tuesday - a second thyrogen shot
Wednesday - radioactive iodine capsule (which they bring to me in a lead case wearing lead aprons none the less - a tad daunting - am I'm supposed to swallow that?!?)
Friday - Scan

It's a painless procedure other than the fact that I have to stay away from my grandbabies for a few days after the capsule. That's the worst part so I went and got my baby fix tonight.

The blessings and discouragements ...

There are places available such as the Ferguson Cancer Center - Blessing
I am in this center as a patient - Discouragement

The cancer I have is a "good" kind - Huge blessing
That my body is even capable of growing this stuff - Discouragement

My treatment was pretty quick and painless - Blessing
To see other patients coming in for chemotherapy, knowing each other as well as the nurses on a first name basis - Discouragement/Blessing

My blessings far outweigh any discouragements and I thank God for that every day.

But still, this week is a very weird place for me to be.


  1. Blessings and Prayers for you on your journey this week. They do good things at the Leonard Ferguson center. I am a 27 year breast cancer survivor. You go girl.

    Keep us posted and I'll keep you in my prayers.
    Mary aka

  2. I had my thyroid gland removed (partially) in 1970 and totally in 1978. I've been through thyroid hell and I know what you mean. My husband has melanoma cancer so I've been that route too. But agree that the blessings outweigh the discouragements. One thing I'm always reminded of is that in those discouraging times we always get closer to God, and that's a good thing. I'll be praying that this will be the last time for the scan and that you are done, done, done with this stuff. Blessings, marlene

  3. Dear Lori,
    I have begun reading your blog and reached this portion, where you have shared about your cancer. I wanted to tell you that I have placed you on my prayer list here at my desk and I will be praying for you. You are so brave Lori! To see both the daunting and blessings is a testimony to your faith. You are a wonderful example to me.
    Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne